A few words about vaginismus

More and more people complain about vaginismus, especially now that the concept – the inability to have a sexual intercourse – is relatively well-known. But what is in the background? The expert of Idelyn is offering a summary of the problem.

Experts used to believe that the reason behind vaginismus was an anatomical mismatch, perhaps the vagina was too tight or the penis proved to be too large. Thus, the main therapy is dilation, with the help of devices of various size. These tools are rather similar to dildos or vibrators found in modern sexshops.

Vaginismus is about the inability to achieve penetration. The tightness is caused by involuntary contractions of the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina. Women with a serious case of vaginismus cannot even be examined by a gynecologist, as the doctor is unable to insert even a finger. Most women experience severe pain even before the actual attempt to penetrate deeply.

What are the causes of vaginismus?

A negative sexual experience from childhood (e.g a pervert showed off his assets, or a grown-up man tried to get closer than appropriate)
Kids played a game which involved the attempt to insert an object into the vagina
A young guy or a grown-up man harrased the girl (6-8-10 year-old kids are capable of raping a girl even without ejaculation!)
The person has an infantile personality
Is afraid of pain in general
Is especially afraid of pain linked to the genitals (saw or heard an intercourse as a child, perhaps that of her parents, heard a story of a painful childbirth or painful sex) – children view sex as an aggressive act
Someone tried to rape her, or even succeeded in the act, and perhaps the vagina was hurt in the process .(These things may happen even with a partner the person is in love with.)
It might be the somatization of a sudden mental bloc in the case of mature women. It is associated with a negative emotion.

Most of these women need emotional care in the first place, and when she is able to take it easy, the next step is to make her get used to the insertion of a finger, or an examination by a doctor – not with various tools in the first place, but with the help of the finger of a partner, with slow, delicate massages. It takes a lot of patience, partners tend to get tired of it and leave. In many cases, patients only look for professional help when they want a child, and this is when the expert learns about the inability to have an intercourse. There are several cases of marriages without intercourse.

As a whole, a woman facing these problems is not really in good terms with her vagina. Yet another reason why it's important to accept and take care of the vagina, in order to be able to lead a healthy sexual life.

Further tips:
Read our article linked to the problem.
What are the experiences of our blogger who went through the pain of vaginismus? Read her story.

Idelyn Expert

7 things I learned from vaginismus

Been through it, survived, and got out of it. This is what I’ve learned.

Are you a prude… or a slut?

It’s a weird thing: if you are fond of sex and tend to talk a lot about it, you are easily assigned the term “slut”. However, if you are a bit reserved, perhaps even shy (or simply feel that your sexlife is no one’s business), you may get labeled as a prude. Both labels are incredibly dangerous as they are about to set limits to female sexuality, within the framework of the patriarchy’s self-absorbed preferences.

Do we really live in a prudish society?

Even a simple sentence like “we live in a prudish society” has a very complex background. One important reason for this might be lack of education. If we look closely, we will see that in many countries, sexual education, birth control, family planning or raising children is still not a part of the national curriculum. Although we live in the 21st century, children often turn to each other for information about sex and their own bodies.